It’s been a long time since I had this urge to write, bare with me because I have no idea what to write and my English is rusty. So, here I am, conquering the world, getting absorbed by the load of paperwork. I forgot how it feels to enjoy the sunrise, to savor music. I hear people judgments, asking me to detox myself, to go outside, to meet new people. I hear you but you don’t matter. It didn’t matter until I heard one hell of a sentence today, the kind of sentences that come in the perfect timing : Do not try to change the situation, change your mind.
You know how you end up believing the lies you tell yourself until they become your new reality. I am a big liar to be honest, because my reality is very dull, it won’t interest you, it won’t interest you to know what I am because I am nothing, really. Even the tornado I had inside has died, I lost my taste along the way, I deprived myself of all my essentials, remember Peter Pan recipe to live? Well, I think I grew up unlike him. However, tonight, I felt butterflies for the first time in a very long time, it’s just me, a bottle of water and Gears of war, and I am happy.
I probably won’t finish this because I had no aim, no conclusion whatsoever, I just remembered this page exists and wanted to remind it of my existence as well. Oh yes, all I am asking myself now is when will I have the courage to confront my reality? Will I be able to get the hell out of the maze I put myself in, Will I?